A Full Length Play

AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT

By G. L. Horton
copyright © 2007 Geralyn Horton

SYNOPSIS

Nothing can stop this group of die hard charismatic grannies as they  bond together to fearlessly express their opinions about our nation  and zealously inspire younger generations to do the same.  Will fatal  illness, opposing beliefs, and jail time pull these ladies apart, or will it draw them closer?

CHARACTERS (all age 60 or older)

RONA – A charming cheerful retired librarian.  She is having a series of tiny almost imperceptible strokes that result in disorientation and some damage to memory.

VERONICA – Rona’s close friend.  Reclusive, intellectually inclined; a constant reader who met Rona years ago at the local library. They bonded over books.  Veronica has had a difficult life, and at this point has no family and few friends.

EMMA – A red-diaper baby who has worked as a labor organizer and volunteer for progressive causes. Emma’s a practical optimist and natural leader.

JOY – Mother of four, Joy has worked all her life from a home office in her husband’s plumbing contracting business.  She is liberal and active in the community, but has been mostly connected with “safe” do-gooders like the Parents and Teachers’ organization. Joy has known Emma for many years, and trusts her implicitly.

BOB – Married to Joy, Bob is a “great guy” and a model husband. Raised traditionally as the cherished youngest child and only son of parents with a happy marriage, working out of his own home and in partnership with Joy has brought him great satisfaction. Bob is comfortable around women and secure enough to allow them to lead.

DOLORES – Elegant and faintly exotic, Dolores is free with comments and criticism but reticent when it comes to her own personal life and history. She seems to have hard-won knowledge and bitter experience that she is unwilling to share. 

AMY – A devout Christian, member of a small congregation of liberal Mennonites, Amy works hard for church, community, and family. She finds great satisfaction in service, and looks for the good in others. She loves to sing, but is humble about her own abilities.

HELEN – A warm and friendly do-gooder who is a part-time Merry Prankster. She joins the group mid-play, and may be doubled by RONA if the actress is skillful enough so that the doubling will pass undetected.

PLACE:  Could be Anytown in Blue State, USA.

TIME: The day after tomorrow.

SET:  Most of the scenes take place at Bob and Joy’s house, but the set cannot be naturalistic, because scenes must shift seamlessly from “sitting around at Joy’s” to multimedia presentations of public events; and to other locations such as Rona’s apartment foyer and the waiting area outside Rona’s hospital room. 

PROLOGUE:  A Collage of  Granny-Action

To a sound track of Granny-type songs, either variations on existing ones such as

(to the tune of “Frere Jacques”)

Constitution, Constitution!
Are you gone?/ Are you gone?
Georgie wants to shred you/ We’re afraid you’re dead, you!
Ding ding dong/ Ding ding dong  

 Or  (to the tune of “God Bless America”)

God, help America!
Turn us away /
From the greedy, who are leading /
All of us to go bust every day.
They are torturing, and outsourcing.
They’re invading foreign soil /
God help America, no blood for oil!
God forgive America, no blood for oil.

Or newly composed ditties in a similar style. During the singing there is a slide shoe or video on the screens or monitors that will be used for visual effects in later scenes. Included are:

Images of signs flashing by with slogans, including “Honk if you want them home!”

 A few counter signs accusing anti-war protestors of treason. 

Encouraging honks from car horns and shouts from a crowd: “Go Grannies Go!  You tell ’em!   Beat back the Bushies!,” etc.

 A little bit of counter-heckling such as  “Love it or leave it, you old bags!” “You should’ve never got the vote, you’re too ignorant!”

Generally, people react to the “Granny Act” with indulgent amusement, even if they don’t agree with the opinions expressed in the songs and skits.  The collage should set this tone, and foreground the question of whether this kind of political activism is worthwhile.

SCENE ONE: The Entrance Area Of Rona's Apartment

(RONA is dressed to go out, but is slumped in a chair, unconscious or sleeping. A hairbrush is in her limp hand, her huge carpetbag at her side. VERONICA is outside, alternately ringing the doorbell and knocking, calling.)

VERONICA: "Rona! Rona , are you in there?"

(RONA wakes slowly, staring as if puzzled as to where she is and what is happening. She looks at the hairbrush as if it is a clue.)

RONA: What? What's...? Who's there?

VERONICA: It's Veronica. Can you let me in?

RONA: Will you give me a minute, please? I seem to be—

VERONICA: Should I call 911?

RONA: No. No, please. I'll be fine. The dizziness is going, now. I'll be able to open the door—

VERONICA: (comes in) It was open.

RONA: Veronica?

VERONICA: You look surprised.

RONA: Just— disoriented. I must have fallen asleep. I thought you might be—

VERONICA: Might be what?

RONA: I don't remember. Must have had a nightmare.

VERONICA: You said come around lunchtime.

RONA: Is it lunch time? (rummages through bag for date book)

VERONICA: Well, it is for me. I may be an early bird.

RONA: I don't know, these days. My sense of time, my sleep pattern—? Out of whack.
(looks at date pages, puzzled) What day is it?

VERONICA: Friday. Friday the thirteenth, in fact.

RONA: And the time? My watch. Is it stopped?

VERONICA: Let me see. (takes Rona's watch) The reset button. I can fix it. There: ten minutes after twelve. Am I too early?

RONA: I'm sure you're right on time. Aren't you? I just wish—

VERONICA: What?

RONA: It doesn't matter.

VERONICA: A bad day, then?

RONA: (sighs) Yes and no.

VERONICA: Yes because?

RONA: I don't hurt anywhere in particular. The sun is shining. And I can smell that you brought me something yummy. Italian?

VERONICA: Lasagna. But the "no" part? Is it bad news from your doctor?

RONA: My— my tests weren't good. He wants me at the hospital tomorrow at 3.

VERONICA: I can drive you to that.

RONA: You needn't wait around. They're going to keep me overnight. But there is something else— something I'd like you to do for me.

VERONICA: Of course—if I can. What is it?

RONA: A favor. Something— Just give me a minute.
(Looks at her notes in her datebook. Frowns, turns the page forward, then back.)
You're still in the community chorus?

VERONICA: Uhhuh. I missed the last concert, but I'm rehearsing—

RONA: It's not like you have to be a singer.

VERONICA: To do what?

RONA: I'd like you to sub for me with the Grannies. Rehearse at 4 in the afternoon, sing in my place at 7 tomorrow night. You'd be back home in time for that PBS mystery thing you like.

VERONICA: Tomorrow? I can't just walk in and perform, out of the blue.

RONA: It's easy! A person who can read music is way overqualified. You're not going to feel inadequate, believe me.

VERONICA: I try to stay out of politics.

RONA: Please, Veronica! Just this once?

VERONICA: All I have to do is show up? What about the grandchildren part?

RONA: Nobody checks wallet photos.

VERONICA: You're disillusioning me. The granny stuff is all hype?

RONA: There's no hierarchy, we make our own rules. A member can be everybody's grandma, caring for all kids in the world. We don't sweat the technicalities.

VERONICA: Technically, I might qualify.

RONA: You have grandchildren? (VERONICA nods) You've never mentioned—

VERONICA: Just one. I haven't seen him since he was six months old. It's a long story. I'll tell you some day, if you like. Not now, though. Do you really need to have a sub? You realize I'm not a people person. A room full of strangers—

RONA: You'll like them, I promise. Amy takes some getting used to, though: and Dolores is— ... Well, most of us think of Dolores as difficult, but you may find her a kindred spirit. Anyway, just for me— please?

VERONICA: You're putting on a lot of pressure.

RONA: You're the only one I can think of who could fill in!

VERONICA: I just—

RONA: This rally is important! More than half our Gaggle can't be there, and Emma was going to cancel her skit. I said that we could do it. It just takes five. I talked Emma into it. And now I'll leave her stranded? Please stand in for me. I know it seems silly, dressing up and making a fool of yourself—

VERONICA: It's not that—

RONA: Isn't it? Then you believe it's important? Not all sound and fury, signifying nothing?

VERONICA: You do things that signify! The book club, and literacy tutoring, the—

RONA: This is our country! "Now is the time for all good men..." Well, women. I don't want to feel responsible for this mess.

VERONICA: You're not responsible! If everybody were like you—! But you have to take care of your health, Rona. The Grannies will understand.

RONA: It'd prey on my mind in the hospital. Anxiety's bad for my blood pressure. Please? I'm supposed to hold up a piggy toe picture— the last little piggy, number five— (VERONICA laughs) Don't laugh. I know it's ridiculous, but I really feel I won't be able to rest easy, knowing Emma needs five piggies and I'm not there to go "wee, wee, wee".

VERONICA: That'll be me? Going "wee, wee, wee"?

RONA: I've organized everything. Here's my Granny bag. This folder is directions and the music. Here's my costume— bonnet and shawl. What you wear otherwise is up to you.

VERONICA: What else is in here? This bag weighs a ton!

RONA: All sorts of things we might need that someone might forget.

VERONICA: I know, but— (looking through bag)

RONA: There's an itemized list in the outside pocket. I check the things off.

VERONICA: What is this? A green ham sandwich?!?

RONA: It can't be! I would never—!

VERONICA: Looks like your handwriting.

RONA: It does. But I swear, I've never seen that— that disgusting sandwich-thing— before.

VERONICA: Life's little mysteries. Don't worry, Rona. I've got your bag, I've got your back. You can rest easy.

SCENE TWO: Joy's Dining Room

(Table at one side, chairs. JOY and EMMA are making pig faces for the paddle puppets they'll use in Emma's skit.)

BOB: (enters, holds up box of nails) Are these what you want?

JOY: I don't know. They might be too big.

BOB: What'll you be doing with them?

JOY: (demonstrates) Fastening these sticks to the pig heads we're making.

EMMA: We thought we'd use gorilla glue—

JOY: For guerilla theatre—

EMMA: But the glue's in Rona's bag.

BOB: I think you want to use staples.

JOY: What do you think, Em?

EMMA: Bob's usually right.

JOY: You all keep saying that!

EMMA: If you want an honest opinion— (doorbell rings)

JOY: Are we expecting anyone?

BOB: I'll get it.

JOY: I'll get the door, dear. You get the stapler. (exit)

EMMA: We have a stapler— (shows small one)

BOB: That's for paper. You need a gun.

EMMA: I'm against guns. Beat 'em into plowshares.

BOB: A staple gun isn't really a weapon—

EMMA: I know! I'm just pulling your chain. Pretending ignorance is a good way to get a man to take over the work.

BOB: It's hard for me to imagine you ignorant. Machiavellian, maybe.

EMMA: (batting eyelashes) Why, sir! Lil' ol' me? (JOY enters with VERONICA.)

JOY: Veronica, this is my husband Bob, and the shameless hussy who is flirting with him is Emma. (to BOB) Veronica is Rona's friend.

BOB: Emma wasn't really flirting—

EMMA: Of course I was! It's a prime directive: if a woman has a perfect husband, flirt with him. Shower him with positive reinforcement.

BOB: When they come out with stuff like that, they call it "Gaggle Rules"! If you'll excuse me, I'm going down cellar to get the gun. (starts to exit)

EMMA: My stars! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! (giggles)

JOY: (more Southern Belle giggles) We'd just never know how to find it ourselves. On your big 'ol manly workbench.

BOB: (to VERONICA) These girls ought to call themselves a Giggle, not a Gaggle!
(BOB exits. JOY and EMMA laugh harder)

JOY: You can change the Gaggle Rules if you want. We're democratic.

EMMA: Except for our token Republican. She believes in Revealed Rules. But as long as she believes that it's the Bible that's inerrant and not our bumbling government, we put up with her.

JOY: We're grateful to have her. And we're grateful to Rona for sending you.

VERONICA: I—uh— I hope I'm on time. For the rehearsal? I had a bit of trouble finding the house— but it can't be much past 4—

JOY: It's quarter past. But the rehearsal's at 5:30.

VERONICA: I'm sorry. I thought— You rehearse at 5:30? And perform at 7?!

EMMA: Right. We'll run the new choreography twice, then practice the songs in the van while Bob is driving us over.

VERONICA: Should I go and come back—?

JOY: Oh, no. It's lucky you've come. We can use the help.

EMMA: We're making piggy paddle puppets. But we— uh— Can you draw?

VERONICA: Not really.

JOY: Turns out I'm terrible at drawing. Emma, too.

EMMA: You'd think that in a random group, at least one woman would be able to draw!

VERONICA: Your group's not random. Is it?

EMMA: Activists can't be artists?

JOY: Maybe so! 'Cause I can't sing or write, either.

EMMA: You've got soul, Joy. You inspire us.

BOB: (enters) Here's your staple gun, ladies. (offers it with a bow)

EMMA: (grabs "gun" and points) Up against the wall, muthas!

JOY: (laughs, takes stapler) You are so naughty, Em!

EMMA: While your Bobby is so good! (to BOB) Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!

JOY: And he's all mine.

(BOB waves at VERONICA, exits)

JOY: (to VERONICA) Don't mind us. We go way back.

EMMA: To the Protozoic.

JOY: Back to work on the piggies. Time's a-wasting.

EMMA: Do you think you could paint these, Veronica? Outline the head in black and do something with the eyes? While we cut out the rest.

VERONICA: I could try.

EMMA: I'm the first little piggy: Cheney— the one that went to market.

JOY: I'm the fourth: the American Worker— the piggy that had none.

EMMA: You're Rona— so the last piggy, right?

JOY: You go, "Wee wee wee— Wee wee wee—" (VERONICA joins last wees)

EMMA: I wanted my pig to have a top hat and a basket.

JOY: But when we drew on a hat, it didn't look like a pig any more.

VERONICA: I can see that might be a problem. What if the snout were more like this? (demonstrates change with pencil)

EMMA: Great! Here's a brush. Black paint's in the black jar.

VERONICA: Do I wear this apron?

EMMA: (shouts) No! (takes apron away from VERONICA) That's a costume!

VERONICA: Rona said the costumes are a hat and a shawl.

EMMA: Shawls fall off when we're doing choreography.

JOY: So we bought aprons. I keep them here because I'm the only one with an iron.

EMMA: I threw my iron away in 1974.

VERONICA: Do you have a non-costume apron? For work?

JOY: Not me! Well, I had a joke apron once. It said "a woman's place is on the tennis court." When I got bad knees and quit playing tennis, and Bob started doing some cooking, he wore it. But people read the apron to mean, Bob had ordered me to stay out of the kitchen! Sort of, "Go play on the tennis court, woman! I'm the chef!" So we threw that one away, too.

EMMA: Nobody I know wears aprons. Who wants to look like a Granny for real?

VERONICA: Not to cook?

EMMA: Nobody I know cooks!

JOY: I cook! Sometimes. But I wear an old tee shirt, like I do to scrub the toilet.

VERONICA: Okay. But I'll get more paint on my clothes than on the pig.

EMMA: Paint naked and take a shower. (VERONICA looks shocked)

JOY: Oy! She's kidding! Emma: go easy on the jokes till Veronica gets to know us.

EMMA: Sorry. (offers to shake hands) My name's Emma Goldman Winckler White, and I'm a career agitator. Organizing and protesting since I was a kid. You name it, I've been against it.

VERONICA: Is there something you're for? (begins painting)

EMMA: I'm for fewer career agitators. We need amateurs, like Joy and Rona. And you.

VERONICA: When I was very young, I helped desegregate Kansas City. And I marched against Vietnam— for a while.

EMMA: Welcome back!

VERONICA: I'm not sure I am back. This is a one time fill-in, for Rona.

JOY: I love Rona. I hope she's all right?

VERONICA: I've known her a long time, but she hasn't said much to me about her health. I notice she seems to be having— difficulties.

JOY: Rona's like me: accentuate the positive.

EMMA: (sings) "Elim-i-nate the negative..."

VERONICA: I was surprised to learn she has no family. Lots of friends, of course, but apparently not close friends....

JOY: I have the impression she was very close to her sister.

VERONICA: (nods) Who died last year.

EMMA: Do you know what her sister died from?

VERONICA: No.

JOY: Me, either. I've been afraid to ask. (Pause. They look at each other)

VERONICA: Shouldn't I go over the music? Rona gave me her costume—

JOY: Looks like she gave you her whole bag. Can you fish me out a lozenge? Left-hand pocket.

VERONICA: You mean these?

JOY: Thanks. I've got a tickle in my throat.

EMMA: Rona and her magic potions!

JOY: It's science, Emma. Rona's a kick-ass reference librarian. She looks this stuff up and tests it before she recommends it. I trust Rona— whether about remedies or substitute singers.

VERONICA: Maybe not, once you hear me audition—

EMMA: Sing "My Country 'Tis of Thee."

VERONICA: I beg your pardon?

EMMA: Sing "My Country 'Tis of Thee." Audition.

VERONICA: (sings) "My Country 'Tis of Thee
(Bob enters, smiles)
Sweet Land of Liberty/ Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died—"
(Bob applauds)

EMMA: Thank you. You're in. Too good for us, really, but we fight with the army we've got, not the army we want or wish we had. You take #5 pig and stand on the audience right, your left. When we get to the line about the last little piggy, you hold up the paddle puppet— hold it up! And you squeal "wee, wee, wee!" as loud as you can. Ready? (Bob waves and exits)

EMMA: and (tone deaf)

JOY: "This little piggy had none. And the last little piggy went—"

VERONICA: "Wee, wee, wee!"

EMMA & JOY: "All the way Home!"

EMMA: I now pronounce you "rehearsed." You'll be fine. So: what's your opinion of my doing a speech about Harriet Nahanee? (They return to their work on the pig paddle puppets.)

VERONICA: Harriet who?

EMMA: Harriet Nahanee. The First Nations environmentalist Granny who died in jail, while serving a sentence for stopping the bulldozers.

VERONICA: Bulldozers? Is this in Israel?

EMMA: Canada. Defending the nature reserve for her grandkids.

VERONICA: I don't really have an opinion. I've never heard of—

JOY: Nobody's heard. Canada's the big bore next door.

EMMA: Canada founded the Grannies! As if we can't learn from our neighbors...

VERONICA: You're asking me ...?

EMMA: I'm floating a trial balloon. I'll do a roving mic thing at the rally, get people to respond. What if I talk about Harriet? The Granny who gave her life.

JOY: Canada's a stretch.

EMMA: The corporation that killed Harriet has its snout in the pig trough in Iraq. Is that a stretch?

VERONICA: I'm the wrong person to ask. I get overwhelmed—

JOY: Everybody does! Stick to sticking it to Bush and the war, Emma. People will have plenty to say about that.

VERONICA: Do the Grannies have Martyrs besides Harriet?

EMMA: Two, I think. Or maybe three.

JOY: Martyrs aren't the point! They could have died in bed, or been hit by a bus. Doing something positive, taking action— that doesn't kill us. It keeps us healthy.

VERONICA: Whew! I was flashing on the photos of that Muslim grandma, the one with the 3 martyred sons who blew herself up? —

(AMY and DOLORES ring the bell and come in.)

AMY: Joy? We decided to be early. To get things ready.

DOLORES: Amy decided. I suspect more to get away from her family than for extra rehearsal. But if there's a chance we'll be less bad tonight, I'm all in favor—

AMY: (points at VERONICA) You're new! You're the new one.

JOY: Rona's friend. Veronica, this is Amy. And Dolores.

AMY: Wonderful! Welcome to the Grans. Emma! Wait till you see what I brought! Barbara made a recording of the Piggy bit music, so we can practice the moves. Plus there's 6 ditties on here— including the two we're doing tonight! It'll be so much easier!

EMMA: Amy! We won't have a keyboard playing with us, and Lord knows what for a sound system. We should rehearse as we'll perform, without a crutch—

AMY: Just try it once, will you?

DOLORES: It might be a good thing. Or at least better—

AMY: I know you have problems with Barbara. I do, too. She's so rich! But—

EMMA: I'm fine with Barbara! Barbara's invaluable. I'm sorry she has a problem with me, but I'd never be against something just because it was Barbara's idea—

AMY: So can we try it? Since we've extra time?

EMMA: We haven't finished the paddle puppets.

VERONICA: Close, though. I'm on the second to last—

AMY: We can hold up empty sticks for the ones not done. Please? I'm dying to try—

JOY: If the recording makes it easier for me to hear the tune—

DOLORES: That's three "yes" votes, Emma. We're a Democracy.

VERONICA: Four, if I get to vote.

EMMA: All right. Gaggle rules.

AMY: Let's go, top of the chorus! Piggy places! You know where to stand?

VERONICA: Audience right, my left.

(They line up, some with completed puppets, some without. Each has a sign to hang around her neck with the name of the political figure identified with each pig. Each has gestures/movements to indicate the figure's characteristic that is being mocked. VERONICA is surprised at who she "is"— and a bit panicked when she realizes that she's supposed to have a movement to go with her "wee wee wee.")

GO TO NEXT: SCENE THREE

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