A Mini-Musical
SARAH OF WASILLA: the musical!
By G. L. Horton
copyright © 2009
Geralyn Horton
Set: a Wasilla, Alaska, church. Bare stage or podium. Sarah is part of the chorus until she is singled out as The New Esther. The chorus can be as few as 3, or 12, or include the entire audience with sing-along participation. They are all in Sunday School being taught by the PREACHER in the first section, then become Sarah's enthusiastic supporters. LIGHTS UP
PREACHER (spoken) Now children, do'ya remember the story of Good Queen Esther?
KIDS CHORUS (in audience) Yes, sir! Yes, sir!
LITTLE SARAH You betcha!
PREACHER (spoken) The only good Queen and prett'neer the only good woman in the En-tire Bible! (sings)
You've heard of Eve, who brought us sin?
CHORUS It's all her fault, the fix we're in.
PREACHER And Jezebel, as you've heard tell--
CHORUS Worked with the Devil to be Queen of Hell
PREACHER (SINGS, toe-tapping hand-clapping revival style)
But God chose Esther!
ALL (sing) That gracious gorgeous Esther!
To lead His people in His righteous ways
To save His people in the Day of Days. (piano vamp)
PREACHER (SINGS) Now Queen Vashti was famous for her beauty
One night when Xerxes was feeling no pain
He said: Tell my wife to do her duty
Show her naked beauty for the glory of my reign!
CHORUS (CHANT) But She said no! (clap, clap)
The Queen said No! I ain't no 'ho. (clap clap) Or circus show.
And When you sober up you'll be so glad I didn't go!
PREACHER (spoken) And the King WAS glad the next morning, --- until his councilors said to him: (SING or Rhythmic SPEECH, blues-style)
If your wife just won't obey you
All of us will rue the day you
Let her get the upper hand!
You've sown discord in the land. (spoken) So what happened then?
YOUNG SARAH(spoken, holding up Beauty Queen crown) The king gave orders to search through all the most beautiful girls to find the best one to be Queen. (piano vamp)
PREACHER (takes crown, SINGS, Circus barker attitude, hoedown style) Y'all come down to the contest
For queen of the Persian land
The beautiful gal that comes out best
Gets Xerxes' crown and hand.
CHORUS (SING) So God sent Esther,
That gracious gorgeous Esther
To lead His people in His righteous ways
To save His people in the Day of Days.
YOUNG SARAH (spoken) That is just the best story ever!
PREACHER (spoken, leering ) Something to think about, little girl. Those bright eyes, that charmin' smile? Sign of the Lord's Anointed, hidden away here in the back woods until the time of trial. (SINGS, to hoedown tune) When enemies are threat-nun, Our people led astray--
Children, don't you fret none--
SARAH ( puts crown on her head, SINGS) Sarah will save the Day!
ALL (spoken, arms upraised) Hip, hip, hooray! And Hallelujah!
SARAH (CHANT, with choreography) Yes, hallelujah! Let it be me!
So what's it to ya? We'll all be free.
ALL Free to be What God and the Bible says
Glorified To rise at the End of Days!
( Transition: SARAH "grows up", Chorus puts Beauty Queen sash on her)
SARAH (sing-spoken as rap) I've had the layin on of hands.
Got witch protection from them foreign lands
ALL (SING) So send this Sarah This gracious gorgeous Sarah
To lead His people in His righteous ways
To save His people in the Day of Days!
PREACHER (spoken) When in the fullness of time, a man of African ancestry appeared out of nowhere-- from zero-- to be the nominee of the so-called Democratic Party, Is Our God pleased? Will he allow His blessed land to sink into an Obama-nation?
ALL (spoken) No! (SINGS, tune "A Mighty Fortress")
And though this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo-oo-oo us--
PREACHER (spoken) The very next day, our Governor, a Spirit-filled Prayer Warrior from Wasilla, walked onto the stage of the world!
(applause, cheers, as SARAH trades crown and sash for glasses & jacket)
PREACHER . Sister Sarah, are you ready to lead?
SARAH You betcha!
ALL (spoken, cheerleading) Yay, Sarah! Go Sarah Go!
SARAH (making a speech) Here with you in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas….. (sings)
I can see it. I will be it!
Called forth from obscurity
To lead the folks so they'll be free.
They'll all love me!
ALL (sing)O yes, we do! We all love you!
PREACHER (spoken) . God only knows how this noble woman will be used by Him! Evil may defeat the righteous in elections-- you can fool all of the people some of the time....!
SARAH (spoken) What do you mean, "we" lost? That grumpy old man lost! I'm the most popular Republican since Reagan!
PREACHER (spoken) But as the deserts parch and the waters rise, holy warriors will stream out of Alaska until the Enemy is vanquished and Dominion established over all the earth!
SARAH And I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't!
SARAH AND PREACHER (SING and dance -- kick line)
So take your station / Sing with elation
Down on your knees / And reach for the skies!
PREACHER (spoken) Join with our Prayer Warriors to purge every Demonic Democratic stronghold! Cast out all the evil spirits! Banish witches and Babylonian harlots -- and you know who I mean!
ALL (SING, nayh, nyah nasty like kids on the playground)
Aaaa- Weeping/ And a- wailing
Is what/ They're gonna do
When the roll/ Is called up yonder
They won't be/ With me and you.
ALL (SING ) Come Tribulation/ This sinful nation
Will be in for/ A big surprise.
SARAH (sings, doing cheerleader routine)
Yes, Armageddon/ That's where we're headin'
O Rapture, o glory, o joy!
When the bombs fly / We'll be on high
Waving bye/ You and I!
So take your station/ Sing with elation
Down on your knees,/ reach for the skies!
ALL (SING) Yes, Armageddon / That's where we're headin'
O Rapture, o glory!/ O Rapture, o glory!/ O Rapture, o glory, o joy!
ALL (stagger and collapse in confident satisfaction)
Amen! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
THE END
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